+The times of my life are when I dance and forget the outside world. It is when I hang out with friends and family members and feel that I belong. Ultimately, it is when I share a quiet moment with God.+

My hamster has lived to a ripe old age of 3 years old, what more can I ask for? It's been a while since I think back of the times we had together. But when I reflect back, I realise there are some parts of my life that are similar to my hamster's.

My hamster has never bitten anyone before, it's always very tame and...hyperactive when it's outside its cage. Perhaps its used to be around humans- rough hands as that of my little cousins who like to shout and beat the cages to wake it up and still it never bites anyone. Sigh, they are little children after all. But anyway, sometimes, this reflects me. Sometimes I'm too tired to fight back. I give in to my situations and just...try to make the best of it. Like my hamster, I may be pushed around, disturbed and annoyed but just to keep things peaceful, I did not fight back for my rights.

Most of the time, my hamster sleeps or looks about from its little home, occassionally moving some shavings to suit its mood. Perhaps it dreams of this huge, strange world outside the cage where loud noises, greasy smells and huge feet stomp about the place, not to mention the occassionally cursings when the heated oil of the pan touches our skin or the frequent banging of the fridge door. It's too timid, maybe, to step out and explore. Even when I left the cage door open, it never steps out but waits by the opening. Only when I take it out for an excercise did it suddenly shoot across the floor on its little legs, excited by the new surroundings. Like the hamster, I too dare not step out into the new environment. Only when I'm sure someone's watching over me, taking care of my moves did I dare to explore.

My hamster is spoiled, it only picks the food it wants from the huge variety I gave him. I am spoiled too, especially when it comes to food. God only knows how irritated people are at my fussiness, just as my mother gets irritated by my hamster's fusiness. Me?Well, I find it amusing.

My hamster is quite vain, cleans itself every so often. I do too, no shame here. I like to keep myself looking presentable.

Excercise? Sure, my hamster only excercises when it has to. That is, when I'm cleaning its cage and it has nothing to do except to run on the wheel. It proved to be useful because it is slim and going strong (until its death). Nothing to boast about here but I only excercise when I have to too. Most of the time, I just am too lazy to start moving my limbs and hey, I haven't grown obese have I?

I wonder if my hamster have ever thought of a higher being. Perhaps I am its higher being. Whenever I talk to it, sing to it, it seems to listen sometimes. For example, at times, it stays there, quietly agreeing or disagreeing with what I said. Sometimes it ignores me, munching greedily on the sunflower seeds it managed to grab from its food bowl and store in its cheek pouches. Like me, when God talks, sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I feel guilty for not showering it with more attention and love. Perhaps, it feels at times I am close, at times I am so distant from it because there are some times when I stay there and share a moment with it. There are times when I hurriedly fed it and leave to do other things, never giving it much thought except an all-too-cheerful "good night". Sometimes God feels that way to me. So close that when I reach out, I probably could touch his robes and at times, so far that I wonder if I am merely talking to myself.

I thought about how it died and came to a conclusion that it was trying something, maybe to get out a situation? I don't know what but I could almost call it a suicide. Sometimes, when I try hard to do something, when I try hard to get out of a situation, I feel as though things were worse. After a while, I get so tired of all my unnecessary efforts that I feel...dead. Forgive the pun. When I think back of that situation, I realise the answer is just right in front of me. I don't have to struggle so much to get out.

Sometimes I expected my hamster to still be in the cage, walking about and waiting for me to come. When I think of its death, it feels so unrealistic, like a nightmare that I have long forgotten. But at least, I have gotten over it and I like to think my hamster is in a better place now. A world where there is all kinds of food for it to be picky and no one will be annoyed when it decides to be so, where there are green grass and little flowers instead of boring shavings and black bars, where the air is fresh and not greasy, where the bound is limitless and you can go anywhere safely...